HOLE IT! WETIN YOU CARRY?

I have used the topic above in an attempt to mimic the phrase used by Nigerian policemen while carrying out their usual check point duties. Much has been said about the deplorable state of the Nigerian police over the years that I initially did not seem it necessary to write anything on this topic but I then decided to add my voice to the voice of many others clamoring for a change in this particular aspect of this “great” nation. The Nigerian police over the years have been subject to both necessary and unnecessary ridicule as a result of the ungentlemanly way the policemen have carried themselves in recent times. There is no week in this country that we do not get to read in the newspaper that a policeman somewhere has shot and killed an innocent civilian because of some flimsy reason. It is in this country I find that policemen make a living out of collection money from motorists on all major roads in the federation. This menace is fast becoming infuriating because despite the fact that many people have lost their lives to it and many more lose their lives daily, nothing has really been done to stop it as the policemen still stand on the road to collect money from motorists with reckless abandon. These policemen have graduated from taking this money secretly to actually asking for and taking or receiving it in the full glare of everyone.



This got me thinking, is it really this difficult to make sure that policemen don’t mount illegal road blocks on major roads? Is it really difficult for the president to issue a standing directive to the inspector general of police about this menace that threatens the very foundations (?) Upon which this nation was built? I don’t think so. I think that it isn’t really difficult and what is hindering progress in this matter is that everybody in the corridor of power worships the god of money. I also think that everybody gets his share from the money being collected on the streets; I mean everybody from the inspectors, the divisional police officers, the area commanders, the commissioners of police, the assistant inspectors general, the deputy inspectors general, the inspector general and even the president himself! I find it very appalling that despite the bad name that this practice is giving to this country, we still find it difficult to proffer a solution to a problem of this magnitude.



Let me share what I think was the real genesis of the problem; I think it all started at the time when the policemen’s’ salaries were not paid on time just because some unscrupulous fellows decide to put the money meant for the payment of the salaries in fixed deposit accounts for a while for it to yield interest before withdrawing it to pay the salaries. Also, the allowances meant to fuel police cars among other things were not released. The policemen meanwhile have to feed their families and have to take money home so they resort to collecting some form of toll on the streets at their check-points. It probably started as a suggestion from one policeman to the other and then the news got carried form one police station to the other. After a while, the policemen got used to this form of free money so when motorists started shouting at the top of their voices, the policemen could not stop because they could not risk losing their source of free money. Even the guys that pushed them to it now saw that the business was lucrative so they encouraged them and got their own share of the booty.



Thus started what has degenerated into a full blown scam as I can imagine how much these policemen make in a day from their illegal roadblocks. It has got to a level now that some okada riders cannot take you beyond some areas at a particular time of the day for fear of the policemen and their “road taxes”. It is highly unfortunate that in a country where armed robbers are on the prowl, all our policemen care about is this illegal largesse coming from the streets that they don’t care what happens to the citizens they are supposed to be protecting. I think the police as well as most other sectors in Nigeria needs a complete overhaul. New blood should be injected into the police force and all these unrepentant immoral officers should be lined up at the bar beach and shot to death! I am sorry I sound harsh but I don’t think we can risk just letting them go so they don’t go and become armed robbers themselves but it is impossible of course because even the inspector general that was caught the other time was just given a slap on the wrist. I am so sorry that this is a country in which nothing works. Once you are in political office, you can’t get anything done because the structure does not allow you to and if you insist, you will be removed from the office faster than you can sit in your chair.



It is very laughable, lugubrious, disheartening and indeed preposterous that a set of people whose primary job it is to make sure that the general public is free from the nuisance of armed robbers and other social vices have themselves become the nuisance. It is an embarrassing phenomenon that policemen that these policemen have become principalities that even the government cannot handle. In another vein however, it beggars understanding that policemen would collude with the same miscreants they are supposed to be keeping away to rob innocent citizens of their hard earned money and property. In Nigeria, policemen have been known to lend their guns, uniforms and other material out to armed robbers for a fee. This is a very disturbing act as it so conveniently eliminates the need for the protection of the police. I have also discovered that in Nigeria, every household has become a local government on its own; you sink your own borehole or deep well as the case may be to provide yourself with good drinkable water, you build high fences to keep out unwanted visitors (in other words you cater for your own security), you have to join landlords’ association so you all can pool resources together to tar the road that leads into your neighborhood or street, you buy a generator to provide electricity for your family, you have a private doctor whom you pay regularly just to make sure you and your family dwell in good health etc. All these are supposed to be functions that the government performs but that is not to be as the government is dysfunctional, disillusioned and the entire structure looks like it will crumble very soon.



As a youth however, I must say I am disenchanted by this country. We are asked everyday to pray for the goodwill of Nigeria but is it really easy to pray for a country that is rich yet poor? Is it easy to see the way our leaders squander the money on themselves and their cohorts and still pray that the country meets goodwill? I leave the answer to this question to you, my reader but as far as I am concerned, it is really not worth it and I am sorry to say, I have lost interest in the Nigeria project. The problem we have in this country is not the country itself; it is the kind of leadership and followership that is in practice but that discussion is for another day. So when you are praying, please don’t pray for Nigeria. Pray for the leadership structure in the country and pray that God should move the wicked leaders that we have in this country away from positions of power. That is when this country can truly achieve her potential as I don’t see Nigeria making progress with the structure on ground. We are in another election year now and as I see it, there is not one of the candidates that are going to be put up for election that I can say is credible and can lead us to the promised land as they say. The decent guys that can do the job are either scared for their lives or do not have the resources to put themselves up for election. It is a very trying period for this country and if we are not careful, Nigeria just might disintegrate.



GEJ has become president and is coming out smoking (?) but I ask myself; can this man really make it work? For starters, this man has never stood for and elective position and won so I wonder if he has the political standing to win any election on his own let alone a presidential election. I do not think this man has the base politically to withstand the likes of Atiku, Buhari etc. Those that are going to give him the political base he needs to win are the totally unreliable ones and they will not just support him from the goodwill of their heart; there will be something they will want in return and I don’t think GEJ will be able to refuse them and if you think he will, just think of the Adedibu/Ladoja case and you will understand what I am trying to say. I shall discuss more on this in my next write-up. But for now, we can only pray that God has mercy on Nigeria.



So the next time you see policemen on the road asking wetin you carry, please just comply with their every directive and move on so they don’t delay you unnecessarily. As it is for now, I rest my case.







MAY GOD REVIVE NIGERIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



maengboukzi.blogspot.com…..

2011 ELECTIONS AND THE NIGERIAN YOUTH

The 2011 elections are fast approaching in Nigeria and I think it is time that we look at the past elections we have had in this country since the advent of democracy and what we have gained as a nation from such elections. We can then try and suggest ways to make elections better, ways to make sure our votes count this time around. We have to be sure that this time around the elections will not just be another waste of time so precious.
In the past, elections have been a very big affair in Nigeria and since when I have been able to understand things going on around me, I have got the impression that elections time is a like a time of activities and various political maneuverings in Nigeria. However, I have also noticed that in Nigerian elections, the votes of the electorate does not really count and we are only wasting our time by going on the queues on election day to cast our votes. Since the advent of the Yar’adua government and by extension the Goodluck government, we have been promised that this time around, our votes will count and things will not just be business as usual. We can only hope they mean what they are saying!
This article however, is an attempt to examine the state of the preparedness of Nigeria as a nation and the state of the electorate with regards to making sure our votes count in a Nigeria where the rule of law is relegated to the background and morality and justice are nowhere to be found, one can only wonder what effect the elections will have and why we are being so disturbed as a people. Why don’t our leaders just go ahead and install whoever it is in whatsoever position and stop playing on our intelligence as a people since we all know that our votes don’t really count.
We all know that what actually happens is that they monitor the voting exercise and doctor the results just to make sure their candidate gets the position. And afterwards, they say the will of the people has been done when in actual fact, it is their own will that has been done. In order to make sure that this time our votes count therefore, we have to stand up as a people and monitor the votes ourselves. We have to defend our votes with our lives and realize that it is better for us that way than for us to fold our hands and watch while they force candidates on us and such candidates in turn make life more difficult for us.
So as election year draws near, I shall propose some ways through which votes of the electorate may count and shall try to enumerate some responsibilities to be carried out by the government and citizens alike.
If the government is to make the election truly credible, then I think the election process should be made transparent. I also think the Independent National Electoral Commission (I.N.E.C) should be made truly independent; I.N.E.C should be made independent of the office of the president. I think the president should not be the one to appoint I.N.E.C chairman as this is tantamount to asking a player to be the umpire in his own game. Also independent candidates should also be encouraged by the government as it has been discovered that candidates that got in on the platform of a political party think their allegiance is first to their political; a case I find absurd and morally repugnant.
Also, the general populace should be sensitized as to the importance of voting as many people have lost hope in the election process itself after having discovered that their votes don’t count. Many people would rather stay in their homes than go and queue up in the sun to cast their votes and then seeing their votes don’t count at the end of the day. The national assembly should also rise and perform their duties as a legislative house; they should create an enabling environment for the votes of the people to count. They should pass laws that protect the integrity of the vote of the common man. Also, strict punishment should be meted out to those found to be rigging or influencing the result of the election in any way; this would serve as deterrent to others who would want to follow in their footsteps.
As a people, we should also stand and be counted when election time comes. We should defend our votes with our lives and realize that the future of our children both born and yet unborn, depend on the decisions we make today and in order to guarantee a rewarding future for our children, we have to make a good decision today; decisions that will make future generations bless and pray for us after we are gone and not one that will make them curse us! We should pay attention as we are casting our votes and call the attention of those present to any untoward act being perpetrated by anyone at the polling venue. We should realize that as Yoruba’s say; “oju ni alakan fi’n so’ri” meaning “the crab watches his head with his eyes” and as such we should watch our votes by ourselves and not wait until someone defrauds us before we lodge complaint.
I am also of the opinion that anyone thought by the court of law to have been illegally sworn in should be made to give account of the time he/she has used in the office and made to refund everything that has accrued to him/her as a result of the office he/she occupied illegally; every allowance, salary etc. he/she should not just walk away. Everyone discovered to have been part of the scam that brought the man or woman into the office should also be punished severely so as to serve as deterrent to others. Proper monitoring should also be carried out by the relevant bodies so as to make sure that the whole election process is carried out with transparency and integrity.
I believe that if all these steps are taken, the electoral process can be sanitized and made corruption free and the will of the people can actually be done in the selection of public officers for our various political offices and we can rest assured that our votes actually count.

GOD HELP NIGERIA!!!
www,maengboukzi.blogspot.com

THE SCAM CALLED PUBLIC UNIVERSITIES IN NIGERIA

In many countries of the world, the universities are a standard used to measure the state of the nation as you can guess the kind of future a country will have by just considering the kind of education that country is giving to its youths and young adults. Education in this sense is not just formal education but also the informal. In this write-up however, I shall try to consider the state of the Nigerian public universities using my own ‘citadel of learning’ as a case study.

This write-up is an attempt at analyzing the state of the universities in Nigeria. As you know already, the educational sector of Nigeria is nothing to write home about. More so are the public universities in the country. These universities that are supposed to be citadels of learning are fast becoming a refuse dump. Worse still, they are becoming a breeding ground for criminals and hoodlums. Universities, which are supposed to be the place where people go to be trained to become leaders and responsible members of the society, have become a farce. Students no longer go to school to learn to be responsible rather, they go to obtain a certificate and break free from the group of illiterates in the society. This is rather unfortunate as it really defeats the purpose for which the schools were founded which purpose is so that responsible and respectable leaders can be to take over the mantle of leadership and responsibility when the present crop of leaders are dead and gone.

In Nigeria however, public universities can best be described as a joke and a slap in the face of the Nigerian government. I shall try to buttress my argument with some points using my own ‘citadel of learning’ as a case study.

My school is one of the ‘best’ universities in the country considering that it is currently ranked the best state university in Nigeria. It is located in one of the south western states of the country. It is a non-residential university which in itself is an absurdity considering that the school still has a very large expanse of land on which hostels could be built but the school authority in its wisdom, decide not to. The reason for this decision is best known to them but I think it is because most of the people in positions of authority and on whose shoulders the decision rests are the ones running private residential hostels in the school area and are charging exorbitant prices for such hostels knowing that the student will have no choice but to pay for these hostels. Even the hostel where I currently reside is reportedly owned by the current registrar of J.A.M.B but that is just by the way.

Putting into consideration that the school has a population of about 35,000 students (including those registered for the pre degree program), one would expect that the school would have facilities required to cater for that population but that is not the case as the lecture theater’s present in the school can sit only 1500, 1200, 1000, 750, 250, 150 students at a time. This causes crises as the students have to fight for lecture venues despite paying huge amounts of money as tuition fee but I shall get to that part presently. The number of lecture theaters currently present is grossly inadequate but the school authority could not care less. Even the lectures take advantage of this situation to be lazy as they cite the non-availability of lecture venues as excuse for not teaching the students and of course, as a student, you write examinations whether you are taught anything or not. This situation is very unfair because as a student, it means you have to be examined on things that you were not taught.

In this school, newly admitted students are expected to pay an acceptance fee of N20,000 as well as the general tuition fee of N40,000 expected of every student in the school. After the payment of this fee, a receipt for the amount paid is issued to the student and on it is written such things as the student has paid for. But on getting to the school, the student discovers that he/she has to pay for these things all over again as the receipt does not carry any weight. Take for instance, the payment for medical tests at the health center, the receipt clearly states that the student has paid for the test but on getting to the school, the student discovers that he/she has to pay the amount for the test again at the bursary and obtain another receipt which he/she will then take to the medical center to enable him/her take the medical tests.

After doing some simple calculations, I arrived at a very huge sum of money being made by the school yearly and I begin to wonder why this money is not spent to make the school a more conducive learning environment but then I realize that in this country, corruption is the order of the day and as such, I am not surprised that the money is not spent judiciously.

Worthy of note also, is the deplorable state of our facilities in Nigeria’s higher institutions of learning. In my school for instance, the various lecture halls and other faculty and departmental buildings are in various states of disrepair and the school authority is making no attempt whatsoever to fix this rot. The school authority prefers to buy some other irrelevant things for themselves like cars etc. instead of fixing the rot in the school.

Also, lecturers prefer to go about their private businesses instead of going for classes to impart knowledge in the students and this has adverse effects on the students as this ensures that half baked graduates are produced in our institutions of higher learning. Those who do not go after their private businesses prefer to go and lecture in private universities because the conditions of work there are favorable as against staying to teach in the public universities. This is also because in this private universities, they are well monitored and any lecturer found to be lacking in his duties is heavily sanctioned. This is not so in the public universities.

I would also like to state here that in my own opinion, my school is too densely populated and there are not enough resources to cater for the too many students. Take my department for instance, we are about 240 students in my class alone and multiplying this number by 5, you have more than 1,000 students in one department alone! This in my opinion is about 6 times the number of students that are supposed to be in the department. This being the case, you find that in a laboratory that was built to sit about 100 students, you have about 800 students struggling to sit in the lab just because there is no other laboratory that can sit that many students and the practical class is taken by about 3 or 4 departments. There is the case of a student in a particular public university who had studied a particular item of equipment in details only for him to get to the field where they had gone on an excursion and not be able to identify the equipment until he was told what it was. This situation is very unfortunate and it is due to the fact that in Nigeria, students are not taught to know. They are taught to pass examinations and even when such a student study hard and pass the examination very well, the lecturers cut down their scores by doing what they call ‘regularization if result’. This is a situation where marks of students in given courses are pruned down just because the lecturer thinks they should not pass that well. In fact, there is the case of a particular lecturer in my department that says and I quote ‘you can never get an A in my course; A is for God, B is for the lecturer to give to whomsoever he likes, C is for the genius student and D, E and F are for the rest of the students. I did not have a first class in this department when I was a student so why should you?’ this is a very disturbing scenario and is one I think should not be encouraged.

In my own school, I have discovered that you pay for everything from collection of results to registering courses in the departments. The situation is very unfortunate and it is no wonder many students are clamoring to go abroad to study even if it means they have to go and start all over again. I have discovered however, that this situation is not peculiar to my school as many of my friends in other public schools also claim they do the same.

All this got me thinking and I was recently lamenting to a family friend about this situation. He then pointed out to me that it is not a new thing and that it is not just happening in the universities alone; it is happening in public secondary schools as well and it is only because I was privileged to attend a private secondary school where I did not have to contend with all these irregularities that those things seem new to me. I couldn’t agree more with him!

I hope that very soon, our government and other stake holders will rise to proffer and implement solutions to all these challenges. I believe the educational system in Nigeria needs revamping and complete overhauling. Maybe it is high time we took a cue from Ghana. We should also close down our universities (though I don’t know how possible that will be) to give way for massive restructuring and rebuilding. The universities can then be re-opened and turned into institutions that will be able to compete favorably with the best in the world.

I hope the government will rise to this challenge and work to make the future of this country assured by making sure the leaders of tomorrow are well trained and equipped to do the job of leading this country in the future.

GOD HELP NIGERIA!!!

www.maengboukzi.blogspot.com

MY LIFE AS A YAHOO BOY.

It all started with my curiosity. I was wondering what the yahoo boy does that makes him really rich and influential on our Nigerian campuses. I wondered what it will be like to actually be in the shoes of the yahoo boy, to examine the process from the beginning to the end so I would be able to think like them and participate in the process from beginning to the end.

Thus started my sojourn into the life and activities of a yahoo boy and I shall try to break down the process into stages and try to explain each stage accordingly based on my experience. This write up should not be seen as a guide to yahoo yahoo but as an independent observer’s thoughts on the process and implications of being a yahoo boy. I tried to become a yahoo boy myself and learnt the process to be able to analyze the whole matter. Up until now, many of my friends that knew me when I embarked on this project would still not believe that it was just an experiment but then, I had to make it look real as that is that only way through which I will be able to relate with these people and learn from them.

TYPES:

There are various types of yahoo yahoo common on campus today but I shall dwell mainly on the two most common types basically because these are the types that my research was based on. These two types are the DATING and the CLASSIFIED types of yahoo yahoo. I shall be explaining what each of these kinds entail in details later in this write-up but first, I will like to examine the basic stages involved in the yahoo yahoo business.

THE INTEREST STAGE:

This is the stage where an individual shows interest in the yahoo thing after he has been intimidated and bamboozled into thinking it is the only way through which he would make it to the big leagues on campus. This stage involves getting close to the guys in the business and trying to learn from them, the intricacies of the yahoo yahoo ‘profession’. This is the stage where the student is taught the various ‘formats’ to be used and the various ways to go about getting a ‘client’ as they call it formally or ‘maga’ or ‘mayee’ informally and how to get your ‘client’ to trust you and to fall hopelessly in love with you (in the case of yahoo yahoo by Dating) or taught how to go about ‘bombing’ clients (in the case of the kind of yahoo yahoo called ‘Classified’).

This stage is usually the introductory stage and it is at this stage that you are told the very important materials required in the yahoo yahoo business. These materials include a laptop or desktop computer with constant internet connection and the most important material of all; your time. To succeed in the ‘Dating’ kind of yahoo yahoo, you need at least 5 to 6 hours a day of chatting with your ‘client’ so as to get the maximum benefits of the game while in the ‘Classified’ kind of yahoo yahoo, you need about 4 to 5 straight hours of internet browsing to get the most benefits. Having done all these, you are now ready to move to the next stage in the game.

THE START-UP STAGE:

This stage involves setting up your equipment and logging on to the internet. This is where the real work is and is the stage that determines whether you will be a good yahoo boy or not.

THE PAYING STAGE:

This is the stage where your ‘client’ sends money to you through western union or money gram depending on the transfer method you asked him or her to use.

THE COLLECTION STAGE:

This, in my opinion is the most important and yet dangerous stage of all but to some, it is the easiest part of the game. This is when you go to the bank or western union center to actually cash the money that has been sent to you by your ‘client’. You go to a fake ID card center, get a fake ID card made in the name of the person to whom the ‘client’ has sent the money and proceed to the bank to cash the money. It is easy to get caught at this stage because you are actually putting yourself out in the open and you could be easily arrested by the EFCC and other law enforcement agencies. Please note that what is done here is you have a bank where one or more of the employees is on the payroll of these yahoo boys. This ensures that whatever transpires is completely under the radar and shielded from the knowledge of the law enforcement agencies, on getting there, you simply walk up to your man and present your fake ID cards. He in turn checks the western union portal to confirm that such an amount of money has been sent and then pays you accordingly.

I shall try to explain the 2 types yahoo yahoo we are dealing with here:

DATING:

This basically involves you getting a ‘client’ from an online dating site and introducing yourself as a widower or young and sexually attractive lady as the case may be who wants to go into a relationship and is searching online for true love. This is done in order to get unsuspecting rich ‘oyinbo’ men or women to take interest in you. Of course, you don’t use your real name but a name that you created and a profile picture that you also downloaded from the internet. (Please note that in order for your ruse to look real, you have to download many different pictures of the same person). After doing this, you get men or women who are interested in you or you show that you are interested in them by sending them a message that in the case of a man, may read something like this;

HELLO

My name is *your name* and I am interested in meeting mature ladies for a long term relationship. Seeing your picture, I have a feeling my search is over. My yahoo mail address is *whatever*@yahoo.com. you could add me to your messenger list if you don’t mind and let’s get to know each other better on there. Eagerly expecting your reply.

LOVE

*your name*

This kind of message is called a ‘bomb’ and it is the introductory message you send after identifying a particular ‘client’ and after you are convinced the client is rich enough for you.

Of course, the client replies and you follow up with something like this;

Hello my name is *your name* and thanks for accepting my friend request. I hope this will be the beginning of a rewarding friendship because i don’t think I've seen a more beautiful lady in all my life. Hope you won’t mind us chatting on yahoo messenger cos I think we could really get in touch more on there. My username is *whatever*@yahoo.com. I would like you to add me to your messenger list if you have a yahoo account so we can chat more and get to know one another there. Looking forward to your reply and eagerly waiting for you on yahoo messenger. I Can’t wait to get to know you.

LOVE

*your name*

By this time, you have the yahoo messenger address of the ‘client’. You then proceed to add the person as a friend on your yahoo messenger and this is when the real work begins as you have to get your ‘client’ to fall in love with you as it is only at this point that the client can send you money. When you client asks about you and what you do, you send something like this:

HELLO,

Hi... i could not get to tell you about me so I am sending it by email..my name is mark as you already know and I am from *wherever* and I work as international project supervisor for *whatever* company out of *wherever*......I have been married with a kid and my wife died in Africa last year where she had gone with my daughter *name of daughter* cos she got custody after the divorce....I am currently searching for a mature lady like I said from any part of the world who will love me for who I am and with whom I will share all I have and who will share all she has with me......I am a fun loving and generally fun to be with...this is what I will tell you about me..I leave you to find out the rest yourself from interaction with me...I hope to get to know you more cos I think I will like your kind of person cos from your picture, you seem like a very adventurous and fun loving kind of person...I will appreciate if you can reply my mail so that we can kick start the friendship from there and hopefully if things work out the way we want, we can take the relationship to another level cos I don’t mind settling down in any part of the world as long as it is with the woman I love and who loves me back...

I'll be waiting for your reply and like I said before i hope this will be the beginning of a bright and rewarding friendship...bye for now and please take care of yourself....

LOTS OF LOVE

*your name*

After this, you have successfully introduced yourself to your ‘client’ and you have by now, got to know who your ‘client’ is and what she does for a living. You have introduced yourself to be a very responsible and caring man and have to yourself in a position to be loved.

Hereafter comes what in yahoo yahoo circles, is called the ‘birthday billing’. This is when you ask your ‘client’ to send money to your daughter so as to get her a gift on her birthday. This is usually done after about 4 or 7 days of your meeting the ‘client’ depending on the length and intensity of your conversation. After attaching your pictures and that of your daughter, the birthday billing ‘bomb’ reads something like this:

HELLO,

Hello dear, how are you and everyone over there?..., my daughter *daughter’s name* sends her greetings too... she can’t wait to get to know you...by the way her birthday is in four days and I was thinking she might be pleasantly surprised to receive a gift from you....I try to send her things but she does not get them cos the postal service in that part of west Africa is so bad, nothing gets delivered so I send money to have those things bought for her. I used to send the money to her mum but now that she is no more, I send the money to her guardian.....please do not bother if this is a problem...I just think it will be a very good idea to have her know that her soon to be mother cares about her enough to send her a gift on her birthday. She likes you so much and she tells me she can’t wait to meet you...I'm hoping you can make this work and I am counting on you...anything you want to give her for her birthday is fine and that is your choice to make but i still insist do not bother if it is going to be a problem....I hope to get her out of there soon enough so I can come to join you and with our kids we can be one big happy family...I think I just found the kind of person I have been searching for all my life and I promise never to let you go.....I just need some time to arrange all these things cos I plan to get my girl away from that place called Africa....

I need you to reply me so I know what your decision is and so that i can send you the details for the money transfer. Life is about trusting the person that you love isn't it? Whatever you decide will be fine and I promise it won’t make me think less of you cos I think i might be falling in love with you already and I just can’t hide that feeling. Take care of you honey and chat with you soon. By the way i sent the pictures. Hope you got them...

LOTS OF LOVE

*your name*.

Your ‘client’ feels important and if she wants to send the gift truly she replies. You then reply her mail asking her to send the money to jenny’s guardian while giving her a name and address that you have created for that purpose. This is the first time your ‘client’ sends you money and you could get up to about $400 to $500 this first time depending on the intensity and level of intimacy you have got to with your client. After this is done, you are then ready to go in for the big kill.

After about 2 or 3 weeks of chatting and getting to know your ‘client’, you then tell her you are going to Africa and to Nigeria specifically to get your daughter with the intention of both of you coming over to see your ‘client’ in whatever country that she is. On the day that you are supposed to land in Nigeria, you are ready to go in for the big kill and you send her a mail that reads something like this:

HI LOVE,

Hello honey, how have you been? I am in Nigeria now as I told you and I really need your help..The plane landed at about *pm local time cos the flight took about * hours...I came out of the airport looking for a cab to take me to my hotel and i did not know that I was going into a trap...I was beaten to a pulp and left to die after been driven to a dark place by the cab driver and his accomplices who were already waiting for him there and because i did not know the way, i did not know I was not being driven to the hotel. I had to crawl back to the roadside and shout for help before some good Samaritans got me here. All my personal effects including my clothes are gone, the boxes containing *daughter’s name*'s ps3 and other things, my phones, my laptop, my international passport, my credit cards, the gifts i bought for *daughter’s name*, her friends, her guardian and her children, all the cash i had in my briefcase and everything including my wallet which had the address of the house where jenny is and the phone numbers with which I communicate with her ...I am at a hospital now and I have really gone through a horrifying experience and i need you to do me a favor... I need you to send me some money as soon as you can. I promise to make it up to you I just need the money right now and i don’t know where else to turn and i am stranded here...please honey I am counting on you to do this for me and I will be waiting at the hospital though i have to log out now cos the doctor is only doing me a favor by letting me use his computer and I have to pay hospital bills...I really need your help love and I promise as soon as I get back on my feet I will repay.....I need about $4000 at least and I will be expecting your reply..please I am stranded cos I have never been in this kind of situation in my life and you are the only person I know that I can run to right now....I know this might be difficult but I have no one else to turn to right now...you will have to send the money by western union cos there is no other way for me to get it..I am sorry to put you in this position but I am really stranded here and I don’t know where else to turn to and you are the only one whom i think can help right now....please I will be here waiting for the money..Expecting your reply...

THANKS IN ANTICIPATION

LOVE YOU

*your name*…

Of course there is no doctor and there hasn’t been any accident. All that is just a scam; lies just to get your ‘client’ think you are in danger and considering that you are in a country where you have never been to and that Nigeria is known for its notoriety, your client thinks you are in real danger and quickly sends you the money. Hereafter, you then send another mail that might read something like this:

HELLO HONEY,

Thanks for the last time honey, your intervention was really timely and I will forever love and appreciate you for that. *daughter’s name* sends her greetings too and she is really dying to meet you but honey, there is another problem. *daughter’s name* has an ailment and I hear from her guardian that she has had pains in her lower abdomen for a while now. The doctor says she needs appendectomy and the surgery will cost about $5000 combined with her post operative costs. This normally would not be a problem but for the fact that I have no access to my money from here as this place is a real hellhole, I am going to need your help again to save my daughter so she does not die. Please understand that I would not be putting this on you were it not for the fact that I have no other person to turn to and you are the only one that I can ask without being ashamed. I promise to repay as soon as I have access to my bank account. If I had my credit card, it would not be a problem but since my credit card has been lost in the attack, there is really nothing I can do from here. Please homey, I need your help! Don’t let my daughter die as her fate rests firmly in your hands now. I am waiting honey and time is of the essence now. Please dear make this work and I and jenny shall be eternally grateful to you. I don’t want to lose my daughter honey! Please save my soul! Thanks honey! Expecting…

*your name*

After this mail has been sent and you get the money, there is one more ‘bomb’ you will send if your ‘client’ is the very rich type. Your daughter has had the surgery and she is well and okay. Of course you can say there were complications from the surgery and so you need more money but that depends on the pocket of your ‘client’. Okay she has had the surgery. Now is time for you to go over to your client and with your daughter to meet her for the first time and because you lost your travelling documents in the attack, you send something like this:

HELLO HONEY,

Thanks for the last time and the time before that. How will I ever repay you honey? You have been a real blessing to me and I thank you for that. May God keep us together forever! Now we are ready to travel to come to you as *daughter’s name* is doing well now and has recovered from her surgery very well but my travelling papers have been lost in the attack and I need to make a new set and to do that, I will need about $2000. I am counting on you this one last time honey as I am really tired of this country. There is no electricity honey! Can you imagine that? It’s really hell in this place and I can’t wait to get out so honey, I am counting on you to please get me out of here so I can repay all my debts to you. Please honey I really am counting on you to do this last favor for me .it’s just my documents that I need as I had sent money to have *daughter’s name*’s done before I came here. Thanks honey, you are a real blessing to me. I will be expecting…

LOVE YOU…

*your name*

So this is the last and final official ‘bomb’. After this, you release your ‘client’ and this can be done by just adding your ‘client’ to your ignore list on your messenger or deleting her ID altogether. This will make sure that you never get mail or message from her again.

Please note that in this type of yahoo yahoo, you could have up to 10 ‘clients’ at a time so you can start to imagine all the money at every stage multiplied by ten!

CLASSIFIED:

This type of yahoo yahoo deals with buying items from online auctioning websites. It is in two phases; actually buying the goods and sending them to a contact in the country of purchase who then sends it to the original buyer in Nigeria after certain commission has been paid and explaining to the seller via mail that you intend to send extra cost to take care of the shipping of the goods. You then ask the seller to send the extra cost by western union or money gram to the person in charge at the shipping agency who of course will be you or your contact.

You don’t actually pay. You just mail an alert in the name of pay pal or some other online payment solution websites or even some banks in the US for a given amount to the sellers ID. The seller of course on seeing the mail will think the money has actually been paid and will ship the goods to you or send the extra after deducting the amount you agreed on to the shipping agent (you) by western union or money gram. You will have the money and by the time the seller discovers he has been scammed, it will be too late and you address will be totally untraceable because it was just made up for that purpose.

This process of course is not this simple as I have intentionally omitted some important steps so this write-up is not taken as a yahoo yahoo textbook or guide. This is just a researcher’s experience in the world of yahoo yahoo and should be taken as such.

THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON WAYS TO CURB THIS MENACE

First, I would like to state here that the above write-up is strictly my experience and I cannot give any names of anybody involved in this research so that the integrity of the research will not be compromised so law enforcement agents, I am sorry I cannot help you. Having said that, I shall proceed to analyze ways I think that this menace can be curbed and ways through which our campuses and the society at large can be made yahoo boys free.

First and most important way is to create an enabling future for the youths in this country. A future where every youth can stand up and be counted, this kind of future is a function of an enabling society; a society where intellect thrives, a society where the youth are not taught by our so called leaders that wealth is everything and that being rich and flaunting the wealth is all that matters. The society should honor integrity and honesty more than wealth. As an ordinary observer can see from this write-up, the process of yahoo yahoo is a very simple yet complex process. The yahoo boy has to put his brain to task every time, he has to think ahead of his ‘client’ and must already have a prepared answer for every question his ‘client’ might ask. He must anticipate questions in advance and must not mumble. He even has to mimic a foreigner’s accent when talking with his ‘client’ on the phone just to make sure he earns the ‘clients’ trust and love. It this is not intelligence, I wonder what is. This goes to show that the ordinary Nigerian youth is intelligent and he only needs to re-direct his intelligence to something not criminal.

Secondly, vigorous awareness should be embarked upon by all and sundry about the dangers inherent in this way of life. Apart from being caught and sent to jail, there is also the danger of declaring negative things into your future as a youth by the kinds of things you have to say to your ‘client’ just to convince her to send money to you. Religious groups should embark on this awareness as what you declare now I believe, lies in wait for you in future. If you say your wife has died now and that your daughter has a specific disease or that you are attacked by armed robbers and beaten to the point of death, I believe you are declaring this things into your future and are putting you, your wife and your children in danger of the what they know nothing about.

Thirdly, I think the society should honor, reward and encourage creativity. Government should put long term rewards in place for creative achievement. Creativity should not just be praised and forgotten a while later. It should be encouraged. I also think laws should be put in place to protect creative ideas as is done in advanced countries of the world. The government should encourage the notion that wealth is not just money but ideas are also wealth and should be protected as they are intellectual properties. If the ordinary youth knows that his creativity will make a way for him in the society and that his ideas are protected by the constitution, he will be forced to think in constructive lines and work hard to make his money.

Fourthly, our educational sector should be revamped and made such as will make students creatively busy with an end in sight. Students don’t just want to study in school and then come out to start looking for jobs on the streets. A process should be put in place whereby the best students get the jobs and the security and jobs should not just be given out on man know man basis as is the case in our country today. Entrepreneurs should also be encouraged right from our institutions of higher learning so students can understand that they can be self employed right from tertiary institutions.

Fifthly, parents and guardians should monitor their children and wards well most especially when they go off to higher institutions as it has been discovered that on getting to the campus, students are in a world of their own and think they are free to do anything they like. This has encouraged nefarious activities and should stop henceforth. Parents should pay their wards occasional impromptu visits in their higher institutions of learning so as to have a feel of what the child is doing and the kind of life their child is living while their backs are turned.

Sixthly, morality should be preached at every nook and cranny of our society. Emphasis should be placed on integrity and honesty as against wealth and riches. A morally upright person will not engage in yahoo yahoo.

Seventhly, our internet service providers should also be properly monitored by government agencies and regulations put in place to put an end to unregulated surfing of the internet because it seems government is lacking in this regard. Internet service providers should be encouraged to put internet traffic monitors in place so that any illegal activity going on on the internet will be quickly and easily picked up and necessary investigations made.

Eighthly, the corporate world should also be sensitized and sanitized so that they cease to aid and abet illegal activities. Banks should be notified and properly monitored and any member of staff found to be aiding and abetting criminals should be handed over to the law enforcement agencies and stringent measures taken to serve as deterrent to others.

Ninthly, law enforcement agents should also be properly monitored as it has been discovered that many of these agents use the arrests of these yahoo boys to enrich their individual pockets as the boys seem to have realized that all they need to do when they are caught is ‘settle’ the officer that caught them and all will be uhuru. This should stop and any agent found to have been involved in this act should be dealt with severely. Also, anyone caught engaging in this illegal act should be made to face the full wrath of the law to serve as deterrent to others.

I believe that if these steps are taken, the menace called yahoo yahoo will be reduced to its barest minimum if not completely eliminated from the Nigerian campuses and the society at large.

GOD HELP NIGERIA!!!

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